Me.

I’ve screwed up alot of things. More times that I can count on both hands. Relationships. Friendships. You name it. Did they deserve it? No. Do I think I’m better? No. Shit happens. Life goes on.

Theres the saying..

‘keep your friends close and you’re enemies closer’.                                        

Um Why?

My enemies did a four against 1. I took it for what it was..behind the beatings I knew they were just jealous of my life even though it wasnt even that great at the time. Fuck it, their instability wasnt my problem. Find a counsellor. Seek the lord.

Its not like they give a fuck about whether or not Im still breathing tonight. However Its not like I dont get it though..feeling the envy. Feeling your blood boil over something that is out of your control. Nothing is worth acting out over..I can admit though..I can relate..

Its the satisfaction that counts. Fullstop.

You cant blame the mind for going dark. You cant blame the mind for being pessimistic. Typo? I dont know. Whatever self control you have left. Push play.9

My friends.. Youre probably sick of me. All of you. I either have time for you or I dont. But you’ll never know if its a legitimate reason. I can say no…. dont worry. Its me.. not you. We wont have to talk for months and you want to hang but I’ve already convinced myself not to go. Ive already screened myself out. I live a thumbs up or thumbs down lifestyle. I may infact probably be the worst friend you ever had.

However If you choose to take me as I am..regardless how up and down I am.. I’ll give you 200% of my loyalty. Till the end. I’ll take a bullet for you. Maybe a knife lol it better kill me though.. or I’ll be very angry if your psycotic intention was all for nothing.

Ask for help. Do it yourself. Raise your hand. Be a man. Speak your voice. Dont say shit. Say yes. Say no. walk away. stand your ground. Fight for whats right. Its not even worth it. maybe another time. I’ll always be there.       

This is why, I only rely on myself.   

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